Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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