She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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