we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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