ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
