It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize