She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
