I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
