so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
