I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
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