You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
MIDGETS
????
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
