Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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