i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
