Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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