How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
pop tarts are not kleenex
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
