would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
