what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize