Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
