I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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