Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
