Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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