69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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