Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
