imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
