insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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