So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
