Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
