Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
