Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize