she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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