Buhtt sex?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize