This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
