I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize