I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
