It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
