How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
