We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
