I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
