so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
it glows. i had to have it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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