1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
