How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
