At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
