he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
