I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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