i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize