You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
