Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize