You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
