I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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