Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
