your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
