Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I am naked and annoyed.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
