No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
