i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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