Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?

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(310): View more from California

I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.

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(817): View more from Texas

She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"

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(815): View more from Illinois

She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.

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(914): View more from New York

And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.

(845): View more from New York

I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?

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(315): View more from New York

Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out

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