i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
