We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
