SEEEEXXX PLEASE
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
whose parrot is this?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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