Kareoke will never be a sober sport
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
