As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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