I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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