i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
pray to the hookup gods
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
