If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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