whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
