I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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