this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize