just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
